Coming from a good youth group and now being a single missionary, I have the joy and sadness of looking around to see where everyone is at and what everyone has done. When I was younger growing up, I was the type to defie what I was told to do, even to this day I do a little. Both do I have, a heavy heart and a proud heart. Some have made terrible mistakes, mistakes that will be hard to bounce back from, but not impossible! Others have turned their life around. I thought that I had everyone pinned, I thought that I knew everyone better than I knew myself!

Guess what?

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I was wrong, I didn’t even know myself, because I truly didn’t have Christ back then, Without the Holy Ghost you can’t see past the lies, the demons, the motives, and all you think about is yourself even if you don’t think you do. I’m telling you this because my heart was broken yesterday by a single phone call. I’m not going to say who or why because that’s not really the point. The point is back in the day we were always together, almost not a day went by that we weren’t together. Late night drives, chilling, having icecream fights, hours of phone conversations. This is someone I thought that I truly knew better than I knew anyone or anything, until yesterday. Yesterday it all came crashing down, I didn’t know a single thing. I feel as though that they should have come to me, I mean I would have fought this thing with them with everything that I had. Even though they had committed this act, I still love (brotherly/sisterly) them as I always have and that will not change. That is all thanks to God because if not for Him my heart wouldn’t be nearly tender as it is now. When people mess up they don;t need to be condemned they need compassion and tough love, they need to see that you still love them, for how else will they know unfailing love? I’m not saying you should forget but you should forgive, and not bring it up. That will be their testimony one day and a powerful one at that! Showing your love for someone doesn’t always look like a movie, sometimes it will look harsh or just pain mean.

If you are ever struggling with something no matter what it may be you need to let someone in so they can help you, remember you are not alone people love and care for you. God loves you unconditionally and He will never stop chasing after your heart! But it’s up to you to let Him in and do a wonderful work inside. I’m going to be brutally honest here, you can get all the help you want, take all the medication to make yourself feel better, hide behind a stupid bottle…. The fact is none of that stuff will EVER  take away your pain or suffering, There is only ONE thing that can do that and that would be LOVE-Gods Love. He is the only one to give you a peace that passes all understanding, meaning it is a peace that no one could ever possibly explain, it doesn’t exist to the natural eye. He will give you a rest like you couldn’t even know. Gods love is infinite, it will make you feel so many things that you just can’t explain, It will show you things, It will make you feel things. Once you know the true love of God nothing else in this world will ever be able to compete with it. You have to truly want to seek His face, It’s not a Sunday thing its a life style thing! You live it you breath in His presence night and day. You should Pray non-stop, something I am learning to do. His love will set you free from anything that you are dealing with.  The right kind of love is so powerful! A lot of the time generational curses have to be broken in order for that spirit to leave, and that’s the great thing about following Jesus, is that He can do that through you, through your mouth. No you don’t have to have lessons, or school even all you need is the Holy Ghost, He is the one that guides you and speaks through you. I’m going to leave off here, the relationship between you and Jesus has to be like a PB&J sandwich, it must be close. He loves you and He cares for you and He certainly doesn’t delight in seeing you suffer, it breaks His heart! He will never leave or forsake you once you come to Him! My heart is still heavy, but is glad to know that God is moving!! I’m excited for the things to come, the changes that are/will be taking place in the lives of the people I care about. (of course for everyone else also :))